Why AI Feels Unsafe or Intimidating, Especially If You’re a Woman

AI is everywhere… but why does it make so many women feel uneasy? Let’s break it down.

There’s a growing sense of discomfort among women when it comes to artificial intelligence. It’s not just about fearing something new and unfamiliar; it’s about feeling excluded from something that’s shaping our future. If you’ve ever felt that uneasy pull in the pit of your stomach when faced with a new AI tool, or found yourself questioning whether it was designed for you, you’re not alone. And here’s the thing: it’s not irrational.

In fact, the discomfort women feel around AI is deeply rooted in systemic issues like invisibility, exclusion, and even historical harm. Today, we’ll dive into the emotional truth behind these feelings, what the data says, and why this matters for the future of technology.

The Emotional Truth Behind the Fear

I want to start by asking a simple question.

What if the fear women feel around AI isn’t irrational? What if, instead, it’s a response to what’s missing from the technology itself, things like representation, inclusivity, and safety?

I have been working in tech for over 25 years and with AI and automation for nearly a decade. Although it comes naturally to me, I am aware of how my female friends and colleagues may experience it.

Women’s experiences with technology have historically been marked by exclusion, whether that’s in tech development, leadership roles, or even in how our needs are considered. Think about voice assistants that default to a female voice, or facial recognition software that has higher error rates for women, particularly women of color. These are the types of experiences that shape our interactions with AI. When the technology isn’t designed for us or doesn’t reflect our needs, it’s no surprise that we don’t feel safe trusting it.

The Data Tells a Stark Story

When we look at the data, the numbers paint a clear picture of gender disparity in the AI field.

-Only 29–31% of AI professionals are women. (2024-2025)

-In executive-level AI roles, less than 15% of leadership positions are held by women.

Women are statistically less likely to trust AI. A 2024 Deloitte survey revealed that only 18% of women expressed high or very high trust in AI tools, compared to 31% of men.

The discomfort is real. These gaps in representation aren’t just numbers on a graph, they directly influence how women feel about the technology that’s becoming a bigger part of their lives. Trust isn’t built in a vacuum, and when women don’t see themselves reflected in the development of AI, it becomes hard to feel like these tools were made for us.

What’s Really Going On?

From a psychological perspective, the fear many women experience when interacting with AI isn’t just about the technology itself; it’s about the larger patterns at play.

Women have long been excluded from the decision-making processes that shape the world around us. This extends to tech, where algorithms, systems, and infrastructures are created by people who often do not consider women’s lived experiences. When systems fail to consider women’s voices, we end up with AI that’s misaligned with our needs and concerns.

When tech fails us, it’s not just inconvenient; it’s potentially harmful. For women, many of us have experienced the personal consequences of being sidelined, dismissed, or erased. When AI reflects the same patterns, it doesn’t feel safe.

Where Do We Go From Here?

This conversation is about much more than just expressing fear, it’s about exploring what it takes to rebuild trust in technology. So, what would that look like? How can we move beyond discomfort to a place of security, inclusion, and empowerment?

I believe we will want to acknowledge it is initially about inclusion, women need to be a part of AI design from the ground up. Representation in tech is not just a box to check; it’s about ensuring that the systems we rely on reflect all of us. Second, transparency is key. We need more openness around how AI tools are created and what data they’re built on. My final point, is about accountability. Let us make sure that these systems don’t perpetuate harm and are held to ethical standards that prioritize safety for everyone, not just the privileged few.

We can no longer afford to build technology that excludes women from the equation. To create a future where we all feel safe using AI, we must start with a foundation of trust, inclusivity, and transparency.

Claim your Place in AI Tech Now

Maybe it’s not about being intimidated about the tech, it’s about knowing when to trust it and why it feels so hard. The future of AI needs to be one where women are not just passive users, but also co-creators and decision-makers. Only then will AI truly be for everyone.

We need to ask ourselves - Who is AI for? Who gets to shape its future? And, crucially, who is left behind when we don’t all have a seat at the table? I am telling you now, go to the table, make yourself a seat, and lean in.

Series: Tech, Trust & Power: A Series on Women and AI